Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
