woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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