actually, I'm a sock model
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Did you just see the Batmobile???
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
