in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
