I wannas sexs uuuuu
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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