can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
How's work?
Spinning.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
