yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
