Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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