why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
