turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
