So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize