Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
