She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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