What a fucking waste of an outfit
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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