It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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