Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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