This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
