I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
