if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize