it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
