i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
