matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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