The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
