so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
