the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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