I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
