Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
