how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
