Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
