Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Randomize
