Banned from zoo.
Again?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
