she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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