I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
