You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
