how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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