It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
