I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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