Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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