As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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