Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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