Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
