I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
