I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
