the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just puked most of my soul out..
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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