dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
