she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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