i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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