i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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