Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
