Fuck appropriateness.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
